The Felt Sense of Safety
Does your nervous system have a template for what Safety feels like? Some of us do, but some of us don’t. The Felt Sense refers to an internal and embodied feeling. It’s not just an emotion, but what we feel in our bodies. Each person will have their own felt sense associated with different states or emotions. For example, one person might describe the felt sense of safety as a sense of calm presence, with a regular pattern of breathing, relaxed muscles, and a sense of belonging. Sometimes we haven’t experienced enough safety in our lives to have a felt sense of safety, and we may not be connected enough with our bodies to have a felt sense of how various states actually feel inside. The exercises below are intended to support you in a developing a sense of what feels comfortable and safe for you.
Exploratory Orienting
When our nervous system is in a state of stress, we tend to be on alert for signs of danger, and we may not even be aware of it. We might be more alert to startling sounds, scanning the environment for people that seem out of place, or aware of the nearest exit. But what happens if we explore our environment from a place of safety and curiosity?
Try this, even if you are in a place that is very familiar to you:
- Start by taking a deep breath and letting yourself settle into the chair you are sitting on, or if you are standing, let yourself feel your feet on the ground.
- Allow yourself to gently look around your space, from a place of curiosity. In this moment, what do you notice? Is there anything that catches your attention? Are your eyes drawn to a plant, a picture, an animal, an object, or something you can see out the window? What happens in your body when you let yourself notice something that feels good to look at?
- Allow yourself to take in the full space with curiosity. What do you see in front of you? Beside you? On the other side? Notice the floor. Notice the ceiling. Look behind you. Notice what shifts as you allow yourself to take in your full space.
- You can also explore your environment using your other senses. Notice what you can hear in your immediate space. Notice what you can hear further away. Is there a sound the draws your attention and feels supportive to listen to?
- Can you feel your environment? Allow your attention to notice the seat or floor. Notice the temperature. Notice the sensation of your clothing against your skin. Is there an item near you that you want to reach out and touch? Notice what happens as you explore your space through touch.
Sensing your Boundaries
This exercise supports you in noticing the boundary of your body. Our skin is the physical separation between our body and the outside world and noticing it can help us feel more connected to our body and better sense our boundaries. Sensing our own bodies in the world can help increase our sense of safety in the world.
- Use your dominant hand to trace the skin on your non dominant hand. Notice the sensation of your hand against the skin of your other hand. Gently trace the edges of your fingers, the back of your hand, and your palm. Notice the sensations in both hands as you do this exercise.
- Check in with yourself as you do the exercise. Are you holding your breath? Are you clenching your jaw or any other muscles in your body? If you are, gently take a breath and let go of any active muscle tension.
- Try different types of touch on your hand. Squeeze your hand, gently, then firmly. Tap your hand and fingers. Play around with different types of touch, and notice what feels good and what doesn’t.
- Try switching hands, using your non dominant hand to touch your dominant hand.
- Explore the above kinds of touch on other areas of your body. For example, your arms, legs, and face. Continue to notice sensations. Notice what feels comfortable, uncomfortable, or neutral.
- Once you have completed the exercise, allow your attention to gently explore the space around you. Notice your own edges in the space around you.
Shifting between Inside Awareness and Outside Awareness
This exercise supports us in moving between awareness of our own body sensations and the space around us. It also helps us gently build our ability to stay with feelings that are good, comfortable, or safe.
- Take a moment to notice the space around you. Allow your eyes to gently land on something that feels supportive or good to look at. Take a moment to really notice the item that caught your attention. What do you like about it?
- Let your attention shift to inside your body. As you look at the item, what do you feel inside? Do you feel warm and open? Do you feel settled? Do you feel supported? Maybe you notice positive sensations, maybe you notice discomfort, or maybe you notice something neutral. Whatever you notice, give yourself a few moments to notice the sensations that arise.
- Shift your attention back out to the object and notice it again, giving yourself a few moments with your attention gently on object.
- Then allow yourself to gently take in the space around you. Let your eyes take in more of the room, notice the chair and/or your feet on the ground. Notice any sounds or smells that are around you. Take a restorative breath.
If you are interested in exploring how to access more safety in your nervous system through somatic work, you can contact me at amber@enduring-heart.ca or visit my website to set up a free discovery call.